


Times Remembered Are Twice As Good

by imifumei



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:48:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24575581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imifumei/pseuds/imifumei
Summary: An Intergroup romantic saga with the rarest of pairs.
Kudos: 1





	Times Remembered Are Twice As Good

Originally posted to LiveJournal, 20 October 2009  
This is being reposted from , written as a giftfic for and originally posted [here](http://community.livejournal.com/jerainbowbridge/8370.html).

Special thanks to Amy for listening to me whinge about these two being especially tricksey to get together.

 **Title:** Times Remembered Are Twice As Good  
**Pairing/Groups:** Main: Nakamaru Yuichi/Matsumoto Jun, Background: Friendships- Arashi, Ueda, Junno, Koki, Massu, Ryo, Pairings- implied past Ohmiya, Ohno/OC  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Words:** ~12,500 all together  
**Warnings:** Future Fic, non-linear timeline, established relationship  
**Notes:** The name kanji for Kazunari (和也) can be read as 'Masaya'. The name kanji for Sho (翔) can be read as 'Natsuru'. 'Hana' (鼻) is the word for nose. 

**~ Present Day ~ September 4, 2023~**

Jun's eyes popped wide open the second he heard the front door close. Four AM on another Monday morning, but this one was special. Yucchi would be out of the house almost all day because after so many years in show business he harbored no delusions that he should have a day off just because it was his birthday. Jun was just the same way, but it was his fortieth and that was something big, so Jun wasn't going to let it go by uncelebrated. He was on his feet padding into the bathroom before Yucchi's footsteps in the apartment building hallway faded from earshot.

He quickly brushed his teeth and went to his closet to get dressed. 'Closet' was perhaps not the best way to describe it, though. In fairness, it was the entire spare bedroom. Jun's clothes took up about two thirds of the wall space, the remaining third being Yucchi's, on chrome hanging bars just like their wardrobe racks at Johnny's. These ones, though, weren't being managed by incompetent production assistants who mixed up whole wardrobes at incredibly inopportune times. Of course, Jun shook his head ruefully, if it hadn't been for those shite assistants, he may never have become friends with Nakamaru in the first place. They'd probably have just remained cordial coworkers who occasionally played darts with mutual friends.

**~Countdown 2009-2010~**

“Umm, guys? One of these things is not like the others.” Aiba gestured to the wardrobe rack against the wall where Arashi's blue-and-green themed suits were hanging. Well, four of them, anyway. The fifth outfit, gem-encrusted shorts, a glittered tank top and an over-sized denim jacket covered in bejeweled patches and shiny buttons, was certainly not meant to be worn by anyone in the same group as the first four. 

“Shit. Where's Jun?” Sho asked.

“In the locker room. Someone from Craft Services spilled teriyaki all over him at dinner after dress rehearsal.” Nino explained chuckling softly because he knew what was to come if they couldn't get the right costume for Jun before air.

Sho went into damage control mode. “We have to find out what happened to his costume after dress. This looks like Tanaka-kun's outfit. They must have just switched them. Jun's going to flip his shit.”

“What exactly am I going to flip my shit about, Sho-kun?” Jun drawled from the doorway of the dressing room.

“It's nothing. Your costume was misplaced after dress rehearsal. It's probably in KAT-TUN's wardrobe because we seem to have Tanaka-kun's instead of yours. It's no big deal.”

But it was a big deal because his suit was not in KAT-TUN's wardrobe. Having lost his own pants in what he later would call 'a tragic teriyaki accident', and dubious of his ability to convincingly storm anywhere in a towel, he'd pulled on the only pants available to him, Koki's heavy rhinestone jeans, muttering how it was 'no wonder he couldn't keep his pants pulled up since they're so damned heavy' and stormed down to the other group's dressing room to find his own clothing but all he found there were ill-concealed snickers (due mainly to the fact that he couldn't convincingly storm anywhere in Koki's pants either) and the assurance that they hadn't seen his costume anywhere. 

Clutching the pants to his waist in one fist, he rounded on Nino and Sho who had followed him down the hall, Nino for entertainment purposes and Sho in hopes of keeping the situation in hand. 

“Please tell me you're kidding. Nino? Is this one of yours?” 

“Please, MatsuJun. That's insulting. My pranks are _much_ more clever.”

Jun couldn't disagree but was too busy getting angry to say anything to Nino about it. “No fucking way. _No. Fucking. Way._ ”

“Now, Jun, calm down,” Sho began but was immediately interrupted.

“Calm down?! My suit is missing! I am wearing pants big enough to fit seven and a half fresh juniors in!”

“I'm going to need those back, you know.” Koki reminded him.

“I know you need them back! I'll be happily rid of them as soon as I find my own damned pants!”

“Jun-chan, Jun-chan. Bad news,” Aiba trotted up and breathily explained, “No one has seen your suit since just after dress. The wardrobe assistant who was supposed to put it back away in our room says she doesn't know where she put it. She was crying. I think she might get sacked.”

“Shit.” Jun hurried to find the wardrobe director and assure her that it was just an accident and asked that she not fire the poor girl because as livid as he was, he would feel really shitty if someone got sacked over one mistake because he made a big deal out of it; especially since the event was Countdown and there were an inordinately high number of idols with specific costuming requirements and it was tough to keep it all together. He switched to 'concert master' mode and asked what options were available to him.

Since Countdown was a short event in terms of time, Arashi didn't have any scheduled costume changes this year so they couldn't just switch outfits. What they'd need to do was put together something using pieces of other people's costumes. Thank heaven that layers were so in this year so most of the boys had several pieces of extraneous clothing. 

The biggest trouble was finding pieces that when put together would look like they belonged onstage with the rest of Arashi's outfits, blue-and green-themed sweaters and jackets. What he'd ended up with was a black-and-glitter t-shirt stolen from Nishikido's NewS outfit; Ryo volunteered to wear the same shirt when he switched from his Kanjani to his NewS outfit, Aiba's sport jacket because he could get away with just his sweater and scarf, and a pair of navy jeans from Nakamaru. They were a little long on him but tucked into his boots so no one was the wiser and they were the only ones around that didn't have anything pasted onto them that would clash with the rest of Arashi's outfits.

Jun thanked the heavens again that the one member of KAT-TUN who had pants the right color also was the least likely member to wear spangles or bedazzles or whatever else and, just as luckily, wore black jeans to the venue that day that could have just as easily worked with his costume as the ones he was lending to Jun.

“Thanks very much, Nakamaru-kun. I appreciate it. I'm sorry you had to witness that spectacle earlier.”

“It's no problem, Matsumoto-kun. It's my pleasure. I'd much rather have you in my pants than Koki's- um! I mean, uh-” Nakamaru looked at him, eyes wide, clearly stricken at the double entendre. “I mean, not that you'd want to be 'in my pants' at all, of course, that is. . .I'm sure mine are the last pants you'd want. . .uh-”

Jun laughed. “It's okay. I know what you meant. Anyway, thank you.”

“It's my pleasure. Oh, I've said that twice, haven't I?”

Jus grinned, nodded and went off to change. 

Countdown that year went off without a hitch, without another one anyway. Ryo never did stop giving Jun a hard time for taking Nakamaru out to dinner in thanks when all Jun had done for Ryo was buy him a beer. 

**~ Present Day ~**

But the way Jun always looked at it, he said again to himself, perhaps for the thousandth time, as he pulled on clothes in his and Yucchi's shared apartment and got ready for the day, the way he looked at it, he and Ryo had already been friends and he and Yucchi hadn't. Nakamaru went out of his way for someone he wasn't even close with and that deserved a little more thanks. 

Even though they'd been pretty friendly for a long time now, Jun thought it would probably be nice to do something for Masuda and Tanaka for all the help they were giving him putting together tonight's party. It was important to him for Yuichi to feel like all of his friends collaborated to bring this night together for him. Sometimes he forgot how much people loved him and Jun didn't think it would do for him to feel that way on such an auspicious occasion.

For his part, Masuda was in charge of invitations. Being so effortlessly personable, Masuda had grown to know just about everybody anywhere in their business over the years and Jun was not above making use of Masuda's connections to make sure that everyone Yuichi knew was invited. 

Tanaka was taking care of entertainment and had booked what he considered to be one of the city's best DJs for the party and, because Jun insisted that the entire evening not consist of club music, however slammin' the backbeats might have been, he'd also chosen a DJ who had a wide enough selection of music that he could play something suitable for dinner. 

Dinner would be catered by a restaurant that would offer a buffet of fusion foods, but that was the only part of the evening's festivities that Jun didn't have a hand in. Most things Jun liked to do for himself when it came to planning an event and this one was no different. He'd booked the top floor of his apartment building which contained a hall with a dance floor for the party, but was handling the decorations mostly by himself. He was also doing all of the hors d'oeuvres and he didn't want to hear one more person tell him that one man making four types of appetizers for fifty people was crazy. If he said he could do it, he could damn well do it and pull it off with finesse. It was just going to take all morning and most of the afternoon. 

He spent the following several hours prepping and assembling trays of crudités, baking mini quiches, which were really not all that much work since they came pre-assembled and only required an oven and a watchful eye, slicing down mangoes and melons and wrapping them with prosciutto, and finally, around three o'clock, making his special salmon puffs. 

Jun loved making them because they were difficult, involved, and impressive. First he had to bake the pastries, like cream puffs, but with dill in the dough; that wasn't in the recipe but it made them much more savory and the little flecks of green looked pretty. It was a particular bit of cleverness on Jun's part and he was proud of it. Then he had to make the salmon mousse and pipe it into each individual pastry puff.

Those were the only hors d'oeuvres he'd absolutely insisted on making. For everything else he'd taken suggestions from the other people involved. It had taken Jun years to learn when to bow to the opinions of others, and it was a lesson hard-learned. Of course, Jun wouldn't have exchanged his stubbornness for, say Ohno's copasetic attitude for the world. His stubbornness is one of the things that got him where he is today. His career outside of his group, many of Arashi's group achievements, even the beginning of his relationship with Yuichi had a lot to do with Jun's utter inability to admit that he might possibly not be the authority on certain things.

They had really only been “just friends” at that point, not that Jun hadn't thought of taking it further, he just really didn't know how to read Nakamaru and couldn't tell at all how he thought Nakamaru would respond to any kind of advances. But any excuse to spend a little more time with him, get to know him a little better, was welcome, and Jun really _had_ felt like he had a leg up on Nakamaru in this particular field, so he thought. . .well, he just wanted to lend a hand.

**~September-December, 2012~**

Their darts dates, although they were with friends, so they weren't really dates at all, but they took up space in Jun's datebook so he felt safe enough calling them 'dates' (but then again he wasn't sure it was a good idea to get into the habit of saying that and he wasn't altogether sure how he felt about the prospect of dating Nakamaru-kun . . .), anyway, their darts _appointments_ had become fairly regular. One night every three or four weeks was a colossal dedication of time in their business, at least dedicating that time to something that wasn't business was, and Jun thought it would be appropriate to the state of their friendship to give Nakamaru a birthday gift. 

It was important to Jun to personalize birthday gifts and he especially liked them to be something very useful. He thought long and hard about what he could do for Nakamaru for his birthday and he thought he had a really fantastic idea.

He'd frequently heard Nakamaru mention that he didn't particularly care for the style of clothing his stylists always had him in. Jun was going to help Nakamaru reinvent his image.

It began with a scarf. It was a rich sapphire blue and black houndstooth weave that Jun had one of himself.

Soon Jun was inviting Nakamaru along on shopping trips and accompanying him and Masuda on theirs. He made plenty of suggestions as to what Nakamaru might choose to wear, urging him toward jewel tones, because they were great with his skin tones and away from sweatervests and argyle because he had so many of those already. On more than one occasion, he endured a lot of ill-concealed snickering from Masuda at his choices.

“He won't wear that.” Masuda would whisper to Jun while Nakamaru was in a dressing room.

“He'll look fabulous in it.” Jun would say.

“Yeah, maybe, but it's not his style. He won't wear it.”

Jun would buy things for him anyway and assure Nakamaru when he handed over the new merchandise that 'it would be good for his image' and for a long time Nakamaru was a good sport about it.

When Jun called to ask Maru out for drinks and casually suggested things like 'he might try out those new emerald green pants', for a while Nakamaru obliged him. But eventually even Jun had to admit it was getting out of hand, so when Nakamaru finally called him on it, he didn't really have a leg to stand on. 

They'd been hanging out at Nakamaru's house when Sho called up and asked if they wanted to meet for dinner. It was decided they'd go but Jun took a look at what Nakamaru was wearing and blurted out, “Are you going to wear that?”

It was tactless and rude and Jun couldn't blame him for getting angry.

“What's wrong with it?” he challenged.

“Well, for one thing, that beige sweater with khaki pants washes you out, you haven't got on a single accessory and even if those colors suited you better, your _only_ pair of sunglasses are aviators which will totally clash with the boy-next-door image this look projects.”

“Jun? You _do_ realize you're not my stylist, right?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Because I do actually already have one of those. And don't you think that if I were ever going to get more into fashion than I am, that maybe Massu would have succeeded in getting me interested long before now? And did it occur to you that maybe when I am hanging out with my _friends_ or in the privacy of my own home, I might not feel like I _need_ to be all done up?”

“But the paparazzi-”

“Jun, I have never, ever cared about the paparazzi and I promise you, I never will. Even if someday they _do_ start following me around, which they don't.”

“They would if you brought up your image a litt-”

“I _like_ my image! Not all of us are cut out to be the center of attention all the time! It makes me nervous and then my nose sweats, it's embarrassing. I like having the image of a guy who goes home and is just a guy. It means that I can just be a guy at home. Being an idol is _exhausting_ , Jun. Look at you! You never sleep. You're always on. Aren't you tired?”

Jun didn't really know how to reply to that but Nakamaru wasn't finished.

“Besides! We aren't juniors anymore. I can't get away with just changing my entire image this late in the game. I _do actually have fans, you know-_ ”

“I know,” Jun interjected feeling lower than scum.

“-and randomly changing my image would be like betraying their loyalty. _They_ actually like me for who I am!”

Jun flinched, he deserved that, actually. “I like you Nakamaru, I just want you to look-”

“Like you?” Nakamaru interrupted.

Jun cocked his head, but he couldn't quite deny that statement but he continued on with what he'd been trying to say anyway, “Good. I just want you to look good.”

“I _do_ look good. I need a friend, Jun, not yet another person telling me how to be a better idol. I have plenty of those already.” 

Nakamaru declined to join Jun and Sho for dinner, leaving Jun to explain to Sho what had happened over shabushabu.

“That was a shitty thing you did, Jun-kun.” Sho shook his head disapprovingly.

“I know it.” Jun mumbled. “The thing is, I do actually like him for who he is.”

“Then you're going to need to find a way to apologize to him.”

“Yeah.”

But Nakamaru didn't answer Jun's phone calls for weeks, although he was assured by mutual friends that KAT-TUN was just busy with promotions for their new Christmas single. Jun didn't see Nakamaru again until a few days before Christmas when Jun showed up on Nakamaru's doorstep with a gift in hand.

“What's this?”

“Your Christmas present.”

“May I open it?”

“Sure.”

Nakamaru carefully unwrapped the package and surveyed the contents. “What is this?”

“It's a crimson shot silk dress shirt with an Arrow-style collar, it's Prada; and an ivory and crimson argyle vest from Izod's winter line.” 

“I can see that. I mean-”

“It's a peace offering. Of course I want you to be yourself . . . but I do think you could look just a little better doing it.”

“Jewel tones?”

“Exactly.”

“Thanks. Just, from now on. . .”

“Right, Your friend, not your stylist. You don't have to tell me twice.”

Jun and Nakamaru became much closer friends after that owing primarily to the fact that Nakamaru was right, being an idol _was_ exhausting and Jun really valued having another person around with whom he could just be himself. 

In any one person's life whether they are idols or, Jun supposed, just regular people, there are friendships that are effortless; people with whom one does not have to be 'on', people who one never feels as though they must entertain, people with whom the silences are comfortable. Then there are other friends whom, even though you might really love them, required a little more effort to be friends; people with whom one can't hang out unless there is an activity, people with whom one always feels as though they must be 'on', entertaining, interesting, and whom, if one is being honest with oneself, one watches what they say for fear of judgment.

Yuichi's presence in Jun's small circle of people whose judgment he did not fear gave him a little breathing room. Real friendships, Jun supposed, are ones that make your life easier. It was nice to have another one. 

**~ Present Day ~**

Jun's batter needed to rest a few minutes before he started spooning it onto the pan and baking so that they puffs would be fluffy rather than chewy. Over-working the batter would make the puffs as rubbery as the balls they toss out at concerts and that wasn't the slightest bit appetizing.

While he was thinking about friends anyway and since he had a moment to spare while the batter rested, Jun though he'd check his email for last-minute RSVPs.

There was a single email from Nino, who hadn't RSVP'd, even though Jun knew for a fact he planned on coming.

_MatsuJun,_

_Satoshi has a gallery show next Saturday so he's going to be late, which I bet he didn't tell you. But because I am so awesome, I am going to swing by his place and pick up the imps and Aki-chan to bring them over. I'll help set up, but if you ask me to iron any tablecloths, be prepared for me to smack you in the face. Later!_

Jun laughed at the fact that the 'smack you in the face' bit was punctuated with cheerful emoji. There was a time when Jun, everyone in fact, had been worried how that entire situation would turn out. It was a terrible upheaval for Arashi, but Jun had gotten through it with the help of his bandmates and Yuichi. Come to think of it, Jun wondered whether he'd ever been as much of a support to Yuichi as Yuichi had been to him at that time.

**~Spring, 2014~**

Jun unlocked his apartment door impossibly slowly, as if he were moving through chilled molasses, slipped into the entryway and slumped back against the door, sinking to the floor just as slowly. His eyes were closed but he could feel someone come to stand in front of him and kneel down. It could only have been one person. Jun wasn't in the habit of distributing his spare apartment key to just anyone. It had to be someone who could be counted on in the event he lost his key and who wouldn't abuse the responsibility that having said key gave to him, so that ruled out almost everyone he knew including his bandmates; especially Nino after the last time he got into Jun's apartment when he wasn't home. He'd eaten all of Jun's food and secretly placed a red dye pack in with his white laundry. Nino was very very lucky that a.) there was nothing designer in that load of wash and b.) Jun looked good in pink.

A hand lifted one of Jun's and placed a steaming cup of coffee into it. Still not opening his eyes, he brought it to his lips and sipped.

“What are you doing here?”

“I figured you could probably use some company and I wasn't sure where your guys would be.” Nakamaru sat and leaned back against the door next to Jun. 

The corner of Jun's mouth twitched. He didn't have it in himself for a real smile, but he always thought it was cute how Nakamaru invariably referred to the rest of his bandmates as 'your guys'. “Sho is with Nino. They left early.”

“Yeah, I thought so. Why didn't Aiba come back with you?”

Jun finally opened his eyes to look sidelong at Nakamaru. “It would have looked bad if none of his own bandmates stayed at the reception until the end, right? Aiba said he'd stay.”

Nakamaru nodded. “How's Ninomiya-kun?”

“He's a wreck. He's happy for him. We all are, you know. It's not like we aren't happy for him.” Jun's breathing hitched, “It's just-” he broke into a sob but quickly shook his head and waved a hand in front of his face trying to will it away. “It's just that. . . it's just. . .” he couldn't hold the sobs back for long, “everything will be different.”

Nakamaru took the barely-touched coffee cup from Jun's shaking hands and let Jun slump against his side. He had to hand it to him, Jun was handling this a lot better than he'd expected. When Nakamaru had first heard that Ohno was getting married, he'd expected more of a breakdown, but Arashi had been in the middle of their 15 Years Tour and Jun was too busy planning the concert staging to allow himself to think about whether that would be their last big tour. Nakamaru valued the level of professionalism that allowed the members of Arashi to perform as well if not better than they had for the previous fifteen years and never let on that they were falling apart inside. 

Sho had taken it well. He was highly realistic and knew it would come at some point; one of them getting married. Aiba was nothing but thrilled for his captain and saw no reason why this needed to change anything, despite the reminders from members of V6, TOKIO, and other senpai groups that things would inevitably change. 

Nino had, of course, taken it badly. He'd loved Ohno for over a decade and a half; and Ohno had loved him. This didn't stop them from dating around; whomever else they were seeing, they'd always had each other. Even long after they stopped performing as a combi, to everyone around, Ohmiya was a constant. They'd both spoken of someday marrying and having children but Nino had never allowed for the possibility of it ever actually happening. He didn't count on Ohno one day coming to him with haunted, apologetic eyes and telling him he wanted to do just that with his current girlfriend. Ohno wasn't getting any younger and he wanted to have kids at an age where he'd still be young enough throughout their childhood to really enjoy it with them. He didn't want to make the same mistake some of their senpai made and not have kids until he was so old that by the time they graduated high school he was an old man.

Jun was utterly heartbroken. Not for the loss of their leader to a woman, Jun had long since grown out of his boyish crush on Ohno. He had not, however, grown out of his deep and abiding love for Arashi. His group was more important to him that anything else in the world. Jun, for Nino's sake, did not allow people to see him as heartbroken as he was. He didn't think that his heartbreak could compare to Nino's and flatly refused to call any attention to himself over it. The last thing he needed was bad publicity saying that Ohno's marriage was destroying Arashi. It would only make things worse. 

His group knew, of course, but just like when he was tired and overworked and wanted everyone to think he felt great, they politely pretended they didn't know how Jun was feeling because he didn't _want_ them to know.

Nakamaru thought he put on a very convincing act. In fact, had they not gotten so close over the last couple of years, close enough that Jun felt comfortable talking to him about actual problems as opposed to the small talk and business lingo he usually traded with non-friend-level coworkers, he'd never have known how bothered Jun really was.

For his part, Nakamaru was an indispensable asset to Jun throughout the ordeal, not that he'd ever have said so himself. That was something that Jun would tell him much much later, over and over again; how glad he was to have had Nakamaru there when he really needed him.

It was only at home that Jun let himself show how affected he was. Jun had spent most of his career simply being himself and making sure that 'himself' was a decent enough guy that he couldn't get into trouble for being him in public. He had a reputation for being a little too honest and it was probably that reputation that kept people from suspecting when he started lying to them in earnest about his enthusiasm for his bandmate's wedding. But here, in his own place, he didn't have to pretend. He let himself just lean into Nakamaru's side and sob himself out. Jun was a planner, an organizer, and not knowing what was going to happen to the most important thing he'd ever known, his group, was killing him.

Nakamaru waited a solid ten minutes, allowing his sweatshirt sleeve to become completely soaked before gently lifting Jun to his feet and leading him to the couch.

“Did you eat at the reception?”

“Yeah, course I did.”

Nakamaru raised his eyebrows. He'd seen what Jun considered 'eating'. Having food on a plate in front of him for a time while doing something else, letting it get to room temperature before realizing he hadn't taken a bite and then tossing it was not what Nakamaru would consider acceptable.

“I'll make you some soft rice.”

Jun glared tearily up at him, “I'm not an invalid.”

“Well, soft rice is something I know I can make. We can't all be _chefs de cuisine_ , Jun-kun. It's that or instant noodles.”

“No, thanks. Ugh. I don't feel like cooking. I'll order in.”

“I'll do it. Just stay there.”

Jun attempted to get up off the couch again but Nakamaru pushed him down by the shoulder. “ _Stay there,_ ” he intoned imperiously, “Don't make me tell you twice.”

Jun fell asleep on his own couch that night, full of cold noodles and snap peas and collapsed bonelessly against Nakamaru's side watching variety shows. He woke covered in a blanket with a note from Nakamaru that said he'd bring dinner by around 9:30 because he didn't trust Jun to eat without him. 

Nakamaru watched over him like that for weeks. Jun found the mothering mostly annoying but having a sounding board for his worries made his heart lighter, at least to a point of bearability. 

Looking back on it now, Jun hoped that Nakamaru had any idea how much it meant to him not to have to burden his group with his fears that they might not make it through this kind of upheaval; how much it meant to have had someone to lean on both literally and figuratively, someone who had been through a period of complete upheaval with his own group and who could honestly say that in a decade it wouldn't seem so huge. 

He was right, too. Now, nine years later, it seemed silly to think of himself back then imagining all the terrible futures they might have had. In the end, very little had changed with their group. Ohno had chosen his wife well. She loved Arashi, well, not half as much as Jun did, but enough to know how important to each of them their careers were and she never was anything but supportive. If anything, she'd been an asset. Maybe Ohno traded his mother dressing him for his wife doing so, but now at least he wasn't always so sunburned because she berated him into using sunscreen and he usually made it to work on time. Also, luckily for everyone involved, Ohno's kids were adorable and inseparable from their Uncle Nino. 

**~Present Day~**

The phone rang calling Jun out of his reverie. 

“Hello?”

“Uncle Jun!” Speak of the devil. . .Jun grinned ruefully.

“Masaya. What's up sport?”

“Mom says we're coming over today for Yuichi's birthday. She said I had to ask first if I wanted to bring my games.”

“If you bring your games, are you going to let your sister play?”

“Awwwww, do I have to?”

“Yes.”

“But Mom said Junno was going to be there and I wanted to challenge him and Uncle Nino to a tournament!”

“Well three is hardly a tournament, is it?”

“I guess.” Masaya conceded petulantly.

“You can bring your games, sure. As long as Natsuru gets to play.”

“But Nacchan is only five! She sucks at everything!”

“Then she'll lose quickly and it will be someone else's turn, won't it?” 

“Ooooh. You don't suck so much, Uncle Jun. For a grown up.”

“Thanks, sport. Put your mom on the phone would you?”

“Sure, hang on. _Kaa-chan!_ ”

“You really should call her 'okaa-san', Masaya-kun.”

“Okay whatever, here she is.”

Jun could hear Masaya proudly announcing that games were allowed before handing the phone to his mother.

“Jun-chan?”

“Hey, Akiko. You're bringing the cake, right?”

“Yes, Jun. For the thousandth time. I have it covered. We'll be over early and I'm bringing streamers and both of the kids so you'll want-”

“To have everything done before you get here. Yeah. The salmon puffs will be out of the oven in two minutes. I just have to fill them. They're the last thing.”

“Salmon puffs, Jun?” He could hear her eyebrows arching.

“Hey! Yuichi loves my salmon puffs.”

“Yuichi loves you. I think he tolerates your salmon puffs.”

Jun frowned. “Well, they're made now. Plus I have fresh strawberries and three other kinds of hors d'oeuvres. We'll be fine.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

“See you.” Jun hung up the phone, slightly irked at the quip about his puffs but he put it out of his mind in favor of getting other things done; calling Ueda, Tanaka, and Masuda to check they were bringing ice and beverages, for one. Jun was a little upset that Kamenashi couldn't make it because of the filming schedule for his new movie, but he was sure that Yuichi would forgive him, since it was his directorial debut and all.

It had been increasingly difficult in recent years to get all of the members of KAT-TUN together for anything besides their variety show (although _KAT-TUN-In x KAT-TUN-Up_ was mostly Tanaka's show now anyway), they were all so damned busy all the time. Weren't they supposed to be winding _down_ their careers by the time they were pushing forty? Not that Jun could talk, he was often very busy too. 

It was just easier when everyone was busy with the same thing, which KAT-TUN hadn't been for some years now. Sure, they all still appeared on their show pretty regularly, but Koki was the lead personality on it since everyone else had solo projects going on. Kame and Jin had solo music careers and their acting careers, and now Kame's directing career. Ueda had put out three albums now with his own band, much more rock than KAT-TUN's 'bad-boy pop' image; just as everyone had expected of him since he'd always leaned toward a more rock-ballad-y style. To be honest, none of those things had really come as a surprise. 

Junno going off on his own had been surprising to Jun when he'd heard about it, but at the time, his friends in KAT-TUN had assured him that Junno's solo stage debut was a long time in coming. Since then, Junno had mastered enough English to appear in a few Off-Broadway productions and more shows in Tokyo's own theatre scene than Jun could count. His current revival of _Macbeth_ had opened to rave reviews and if it was still a little strange to Jun that Junno could so believably portray The Scot, he had to remind himself that almost no one really _got_ Junno and that was probably because there was a lot more to him than met the eye. There was an old western saying about still waters running deep, but Junno's entire existence convinced Jun that really weird and hyperactive waters ran just as deep, just look at Aiba.

Koki basically taking over their show had worked out for everyone involved, since he now used it as a venue to bring out new up-and-coming DJ acts. Nakamaru still did a lot more of the filming with Koki than the other four, though, since he'd made such a name for himself as an interviewer. He almost never failed to be present for episodes when they had big musical acts on. It worked out really well for Jun that this was one of those days. That meant that not only was Yuichi going to be out of the house early, he'd be gone until about 5:30 since _'TUN-in x'TUN-up_ filmed in the afternoons. Koki would be stalling him from coming home until everything was ready and they'd worked out a phone-mail system to let Jun know when they'd be arriving.

Jun hoped that Koki managed to keep his mouth shut, since it was supposed to be a surprise. Jun also hoped that Yuichi wasn't totally wiped out since he'd started his day so early, although he'd gotten better over the years at being 'on' in the mornings. Those first few weeks had been tough for Yuichi, but Jun thought that was at least half his own fault.

**~Summer, 2015~**

At about an hour to air, Jun was backstage at Music Station getting his final fluff-and-powder from the hair and make-up people in his dressing room. He was very excited for tonight's episode because it was the first time in the year since he'd started hosting M-Sute that tonight's main guest was really a huge event. It wasn't that a Johnny's group was going to be on, he was old hat at hosting his kouhai and coworkers at Johnny's & Associates with objective interest. Well, as objective an interest as could be expected, anyway; especially on the one occasion that Arashi was the main guest and he had to pull off hosting and guesting the show at the same time, that had been _interesting_. 

No, what was exciting about this particular appearance was that it was the television debut of Ueda's band, for which Johnny's & Associates had established an entirely new label. J-Black Records was going to be a whole new field for J&A because the label would feature only bands, not groups, not units, but _bands_. So in the future debuted bands like TOKIO wouldn't be so few an far between and being part of a band like FiVe or Question? wouldn't mean you were fated always to be back-up. 

Ueda's band, Tatsuya/Seven, was their first established act. This was going to be an _event_ , and he, or his show at least, got to break the news that they had their own label now. Johnny had chosen M-Sute as the venue for the news to come out primarily because Jun was the host and he'd assured Johnny that he could handle it. At such a critical time, ordinarily Jun would like to have his dressing room to himself, but he was pleased to have Junno and Maru, who had come to support Ueda, sitting around and chatting with him.

Jun was pleased that the members of KAT-TUN who weren't otherwise scheduled made it out to support Ueda for his debut since Nakamaru had, on more than one sloppily drunk occasion, mentioned that he really envied Arashi's easy way with each other. He'd never mentioned those times to Nakamaru when he wasn't drunk. It seemed like a touchy subject. It wasn't that KAT-TUN didn't like each other, they did just fine in one-on-one situations or even in groups of three. They just never meshed as a whole group in any way but musically. 

However, their dynamic had notably improved when they all started getting really involved in their solo projects. It seemed to Jun like they had a much easier time getting along at work when it wasn't expected that 'at work with the rest of the group' would be _all the damned time_ and also, and this was true for every Johnny's group he knew, they seemed to appreciate each other more the more they worked with people outside of the jimusho. There was a lot to be said for having a shared history and it took working outside of that construct to notice how nice it was. 

Jimusho-related inside jokes alone were enough to sustain an entire conversation sometimes, which was lucky since on the Music Station set, Jun was frequently expected to converse with people he'd never met simply because they worked for the same agency so people thought they must know each other.

Over the years of spending increasingly more time with Nakamaru, however, Jun had built enough of a rapport with his friends that they didn't have to rely on 'back-in-our-junior-days' stories anymore. They sat chatting and laughing for a while before Ueda finally piped up.

“I really have to go be with the band now. I actually _lead_ this group, you know,” he said without a trace of bitterness.

“Yeah, yeah,” Junno laughed, “Go be with the band you actually _like_.”

Ueda slapped him over the head and began to walk out but when he got near the door he bent to pick up the grey messenger bag from the floor and held it up to his ear.

“Yuichi, is this your bag? It's ringing.”

“Oh!” Maru hopped up from the couch and took the bag, rifling through for his handphone. The room went silent as Maru answered his call.

“Hello?” Maru paused, then, “I see, I see. What did they say?”

Jun really loved the way Nakamaru crinkled his forehead up when he asked a question or was confused.

“Oh.” 

He looked so stricken that Jun actually got up from his chair to go to him but Ueda, already right next to him, clasped a hand on his shoulder.

“Are they sure?” another pause, “Yes, thank you. Yes, it is. No, of course it's no problem calling now, thank you very much. Oh!, umm when?”

The three other men in the room looked at him expectantly, trying to figure out what sort of terrible news it was, being relayed to Nakamaru after hours and causing him to squint, frown, and look exceptionally trepidatious. 

“In the _morning_?” he practically shrieked with alarm. “Yes, okay, four in the morning will be fine. Monday, yes. Thank you.” Maru finally hung up the phone.

“What's the matter?” Junno asked as soon as the phone clicked shut, Ueda adding “Is everyone okay?” and Jun finishing with “Sit down. Let me get you some water.”

Maru let himself be led to the couch and sat down heavily. He took the bottle of water from Jun and sipped gingerly, blinking rapidly as though that would help him process whatever information he'd just received.

“I have to go, Yuichi, spit it out.” Ueda urged.

“I've been asked to host Hanamaru Cafe.”

“As a guest?” Junno asked.

“No, as the host. Full-time.”

A cheer went up. “That's fantastic!” Jun pulled him up from the couch and into a hug, releasing him quickly. Junno clapped him on the back and Ueda shook and hugged him, grinning. 

“Yeah.” Nakamaru agreed but it took him a few moments to nod along with them and crack a smile.

Ueda finally took his leave and everyone sat down again. 

“When do you start?” Jun asked.

“Monday.”

“This Monday? That's soon. We can cancel our plans on Sunday night, if you like. You'll need to go to bed early if you have to be at the studio at four in the morning.”

“No, no. We don't have to cancel.”

“Nakamaru, quit looking like you're being asked to bungee jump or something. You'll be _fine_. You're going to be great.” Jun assured him and scowled at Junno who was quietly laughing to himself on the other side of the couch. “You're not helping, Taguchi.”

“What?” he giggled. “Oh, no, it's not you. It's just. . .” he looked at Nakamaru, “ _You?_ Hosting. . .” he could barely contain his giggling, “ _hana. . . maru_?”

Jun merely scowled harder.

“Get it? Hana? Maru? Um, nothing. Nevermind. It's just appropriate is all. I'm sure you'll be great.”

“Knock it off.” Maru said, finally recognizing the pun and kicking Junno in the shin.

It was a bad joke, even for Junno, but Jun was grateful for it because it seemed to loosen Nakamaru up a little, and just in time for Jun's stage call. He'd have felt bad leaving a nervous Nakamaru backstage by himself, or worse yet, with a friend who was just going to poke fun at him, however affectionately Junno would have done so.

That night's M-Sute went fabulously well and he said his goodbyes to Ueda and Junno as they went to meet Koki and celebrate Ueda's and Nakamaru's success. Nakamaru stayed behind a moment, promising to catch up to them in the station's lobby.

“I mean it about Sunday.” Jun smiled gently at Nakamaru.

“No, no. I don't want to cancel since Sho-kun made time to come over. It'll be good for me to talk to you both about leading a television show.”

“You've led a TV show before.”

“Yeah, but, this'll be different. Anyway, they're waiting for me, so I'd better get going. You don't want to come?”

“Nah, I'm meeting Ryo for drinks. Tell Tanaka-kun I said 'hello'.”

“Sure, see you Sunday.”

“Yeah.”

Ryo spent their evening telling Jun he was a moron and he should just tell Maru already because, seriously, hadn't he been in love with him for like _years_ now and _oh my god, does that mean you haven't had sex in_ years _?! You are such a freaking girl!_ Jun hoped Maru's evening with his bandmates was less full of disdain and mocking.

Jun's weekend, like Jun's week, was busy and Sunday came faster than he'd expected. He was pleased to have a whole evening free to spend time with two of his favorite people. 

He'd invited Sho as a buffer. Sho was one of the very few people in whom Jun could confide anything. It was Sho to whom Jun had gone after Ohno's wedding when Jun needed to tell someone that he thought he might have feelings for Nakamaru. And it was Sho, and only Sho, to whom he admitted that he thought he might _actually really love_ Nakamaru; not that his other close friends hadn't eventually figured it out but that didn't mean he ever admitted it or talked to anyone else about it. Sho was great because he listened to Jun talk for hours without judgment, only offering objective advice when Jun wanted to hear it. He was also good for a hearty smack to the back of the head when Jun said really stupid things like “it's inappropriate for me to have feelings for him” and “telling him would completely ruin everything forever”. Jun was nothing if not dramatic.

Sho came early and brought wine, and because he knew Jun very well, it was a lovely dry white to go along with the breadsticks and melon they were snacking on while Jun cooked. Nakamaru came in time for dinner and brought more wine because he knew Jun almost as well and was pretty sure that whatever Sho had brought would be gone by the time he'd arrived and he was right. 

Over dinner they discussed the joys and pitfalls of working for a regular television show that was unaffiliated with Johnny's & Associates. Sho, despite the fact that he insisted that being a lead anchor on a news program was nothing like hosting a talk show, had plenty of good advice for Nakamaru and by the time he left for the night, Maru felt like his brain might burst from all of the helpful tips.

Maru was still nervous and Jun wasn't quite ready to say goodnight yet, so he offered to make some decaf espresso and share stories about M-Sute. They sank into Jun's overstuffed leather couch, with steaming mugs of coffee and foamy milk and Jun told Maru story after story about working on M-Sute. 

He told him about the time that he had accidentally called Ryo 'Ryo-chan' instead of 'Nishikido-kun' on the air, which was terribly embarrassing for Jun, lack of professionalism and all, and annoying on account of the fact that Ryo didn't let him forget about it. He recalled how bad it had been filming week after week of M-Sute in a horrible wig because he was simultaneously filming a movie in which he portrayed a cancer patient and he couldn't appear in public with a shaved head because it was against the secrecy clause in his contract, although he didn't really want to be seen without hair either. He watched the tension drain from Nakamaru and got a sweet little thrill when Maru relaxed and started laughing along. 

Jun's favorite thing about his couch was that if two people started out sitting anywhere but on opposite ends of the couch, eventually you'd find yourself sinking into the middle together. Jun had known for a long time exactly how he felt about Nakamaru. He may have taken advantage of the structure of his sofa to allow himself the pleasure of being snugly pressed against Nakamaru's side on more than one occasion. He wasn't proud of the fact, but he also wasn't quite sure how to tell Nakamaru how much the time they spent together meant to him. Still, when Nakamaru finished his latte, Jun let his fingers linger on Maru's when he took his cup to set it on the side table. He used the guise of shared laughter to touch Maru's shoulder. He spent more time than was advisable watching Maru's mouth while he talked. He struggled not to let himself snuggle in or breathe in Maru's crisp cologne. He pushed words like “I'm in love with you” as far out of his head as he could manage while his heart yearned- _don't think about it_ he urged himself. He tried to concentrate on the fact that their friendship was so important to him and he didn't want to do anything to screw it up.

Before they'd realized it, it was past 1:30 and Nakamaru was jumping up from the couch, exclaiming, “Shit. Shit. It's my first day and I've already screwed up. How am I going to host a television show on so little sleep?” Maru was puttering around the entryway trying to remember where he'd set his coat.

Jun sauntered over and leaned against the doorway between the livingroom and entryway. “Oh, come off it. We're idols. I have personally seen you do much more on even less sleep.” 

“True, but this time I don't have a group to support me. Plus it's going to take me an hour to get home at this time of night. Shit.”

“Then stay.” Jun froze, the words out of his mouth before he even thought about them, _damnit_.

“What?” Nakamaru looked at him, the question plain on his face, _What do you mean by 'stay'?_

 _Fuck_ , Jun thought. He could do one of two things here. He could say something about pulling out the extra futon and keep it safe, or he could be honest and tell Nakamaru that he had feelings for him. Option One would be fine but difficult, impossible, really, to have Nakamaru spend the night in his apartment if Jun expected to get any sleep at all, but it was more important to him that Nakamaru got at least _some_ sleep before tomorrow, because it was an important day, after all, and more than anything he wanted Nakamaru to do really well. Besides, Jun had lost sleep over his feelings for Nakamaru before and without the distraction of gazing longingly at him in his sleep, which sounded creepy even to Jun. Option Two would be a shitty thing to do late on the night before Nakamaru started his new job. It would be an unnecessary added stress, your friend confessing to you mere hours before you had to start a new job. It was selfish and on top of that, he really didn't think he could take being 'let down easy' which Nakamaru would undoubtedly do. Jun didn't think he could handle Nakamaru being as nice to him as he would certainly be while Jun was putting all that terrible stress on him and he loved him too much to do that to him anyway. No, it would be better to just go with Option One. 

Jun was standing motionless, a stricken look on his face for god only knew how long, pondering, before Nakamaru finally walked over to him and gently touched his cheek.

“Jun?”

Jun blinked slowly. “Yuichi” he whispered, more to himself than anything, and it gradually dawned on him that he was standing in his entryway with Nakamaru only half into his coat, a breath away.

“You _never_ call me 'Yuichi',” Maru stated, shocked. “We've been friends for years and you always call me 'Nakamaru'. _Always_.” It sounded like an accusation, but he hadn't moved away at all, not a centimeter.

“I'm sorry.” Jun offered, looking up apologetically.

“Jun?” Yuichi was searching his eyes and Jun was more than a little concerned about what he'd find there. He immediately looked down.

It was clear he was going to have to say something, he just didn't know what. “I, uh-”

“Jun, do you want me to. . .to stay?”

“ _Yes_ ,” he answered far too quickly and nearly winced at himself. 

“Are you sure?”

Nakamaru was only a few centimeters taller than him but looking the even the short distance up into his eyes when he felt so unsure of what was he was going to find made him feel very small. He met Yuichi's unfathomable eyes with his own, un-terrified-of-rejection as he could make them and replied, “Yeah.” 

If he had been thinking straight, which he wasn't, paralyzed by uncertainty as he was, he'd have realized that 'Are you sure' is hardly a resounding refusal. Nor did it smack of disdain in any way. If he had been paying _any_ attention to what Yuichi was saying rather than inwardly berating himself for letting himself get into this situation, he might have been remotely prepared for Yuichi's response. He wasn't. 

So Yuichi's quietly whispered “Oh thank god” didn't register until a second or two after he'd already let his jacket fall off of his one arm and to the floor, wrapped both arms around Jun's back, pulling Jun against himself, and swooped down to press his lips against Jun's own.

None of it registered, actually, until Yuichi let his grip loosen slightly and pulled back to look at Jun's face, ready to ask what was wrong. But Jun didn't let him get as far as that before he was leaning up to kiss him back, urgently, fervently, as if his and perhaps a few other people's lives depended on it.

He'd spent quite a pathetically large amount of his free time imagining what it would be like to have Yuichi's lips pressed firmly, even ardently against his own but, as imaginative a guy as Jun thought he was, he was not prepared for the flood of sensation that came over him. Nothing he'd dreamed of compared to the soft lips, the sweet, spicy breath, the hot slick tongue that were currently removing all sense from him. Yuichi stole his breath away, assaulted him with fierce kisses and hands that felt like they were everywhere at once, stroking up the sides of his neck, smoothing down over his shoulders. Jun clutched himself against Yuichi, desperate for more contact. When he finally broke the kiss to trail his lips down Jun's neck, Jun gulped in cool air like a dying man.

Jun was well past the point of being able to 'be cool' while kissing Yuichi. Maybe if he had done it a year or so ago when he'd realized he loved him he could have managed it, but now the shock of being granted something he'd been denying himself for so long robbed him of the ability to enjoy employing any kind of finesse while doing it. He settled for concentrating on one thing at a time and trying not to pass out from the sheer pleasure of it.

Yuichi's lips on his neck were warm and soft. Yuichi's throaty hum of approval when Jun's hands fisted into his shirt resonated through Jun's entire body. Yuichi pressed him back into the wall; he felt strong and sure. Yuichi ran a hand down his side and up under the edge of Jun's t-shirt. Jun shivered and arched into the touch. Yuichi groaned. Passion rose up like swirling black smoke to cloud Jun's perception; he fell further into a deep well of pure physical pleasure and looking up from the depths, all he could see was Yuichi.

“Jun, I want you.” Yuichi whispered, hot breath against Jun's ear.

His hands slid up Jun's shirt and smoothed over the superheated skin of Jun's back. Jun leaned up to kiss him; he wanted more, more of the sweet spice.

“Jun-” Yuichi mumbled against Jun's lips, his voice just as soft as his mouth.

Jun threaded his fingers into Yuichi's hair, coarse but still silky. He wanted to feel every available inch of Yuichi under himself, against himself, inside himself.

“ _Jun_ -”

Jun didn't reply right away, but Yuichi's hands on his shoulders pushing him slightly away and looking exasperatedly down into Jun's need-hazy eyes brought Jun around enough to realize that perhaps he'd missed something. 

“. . .what?” His confusion was plain on his face.

“Jun, if we're going to have sex. . .which would be really good. . .uh, we're going to. . .” Yuichi blushed and looked away from Jun's face so that he could finish one of the most embarrassing sentences he'd ever had to utter in his presence, “ _we're going to need some stuff_ ,” he finished in a rush.

“Oh fuck.” It wasn't that this was news to Jun, it was just that he hadn't planned for it; and there were few things Jun hated like being caught unprepared.

“Yeah, not without certain _items_ ” Yuichi said half-laughing. “And maybe, I think, a bed? Unless you really want to. . .I mean, up against the wall. . .that's uh, hot.”

“Um, come with me. I'm sure I have some lube around here someplace.”

Yuichi followed him into the bedroom and leaned back against the wall, trying to stay out of Jun's way while he tore through the place looking for lube. He dug through the bedside table drawer.

“Damn.” he said, coming up empty and then went over to the dresser, but not finding what he was looking for there either and grumbling to himself, he wandered into the bathroom and rustled around in there for a few minutes before announcing a triumphant “Hah!” and coming back into the bedroom to be greeted by Yuichi's amused expression.

“I found it. What?” Jun demanded at Yuichi's broadening smile.

“Nothing. Just, no matter the situation, you switch into problem-solving mode. It's, nothing. You're just cute.”

“Oh shut up. I am not cute. _Aiba_ is cute. I'm. . .sophisticated.”

“Sure.” Yuichi agreed.

“There's a problem, though.” Jun said, looking bashful.

“What?”

“I haven't uh, been with anyone in a little while. I don't actually have any condoms in the apartment.”

Yuichi chuckled quietly to himself. “Actually, I have one in my bag, hang on.” He disappeared for a moment which Jun took to check his hair in the bathroom mirror and reappeared with a rueful expression and a square of foil.

Jun looked at it skeptically. “It says 'SeXXXy Sheath' on it.”

“Uh. . .Koki gave it to me.”

Jun raised an eyebrow and plucked it from Yuichi's hand, turning it over for further inspection. He was shocked to find the backing of the foil was clear plastic so you could see the decorative novelty condom inside. “It's black.”

“This is awkward.” Yuichi complained, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “Um, Koki said that if I was finally going to confess to you, then I'd need a condom and he said that with you, everything had to be fashionable so 'I couldn't go wrong with basic black.'”

“I see.”

“Listen, Jun, if you don't want to-”

“Are you insane? Of course I want to.”

“I just mean, well, the mood is kind of ruined now, so-”

“I'm sure we can get it back. Here.” Jun went to the light panel and dimmer the lights in his bedroom down to where they were barely shining at all.

“Jun, it's fine. We can do this anytime. You don't have to force yourself. Let's just go to bed, okay?”

Jun felt less-than-stellar about that plan, but it was late and Yuichi was right, the mood had begun to escape them. “Yeah, okay. But you're sleeping in my bed, I'm not getting the futon out.”

“That sounds great.”

Yuichi stripped down to his boxers and Jun changed into soft cotton pajama pants and climbed into bed to lay down beside Yuichi who immediately turned to face him, snaking an arm around Jun's waist, pulling him against his chest, and tucking him under his chin.

Jun didn't mind at all feeling snuggled in, surrounded by Yuichi's arms. _God, Ryo was right. He_ was _such a freaking girl._ But he couldn't bring himself to have a problem with that because this was Yuichi, who was one of his best friends, one of the few people outside of his group with whom he was willing to share anything, and he had been holding himself back from telling him about it for _so long_. Actually, he hadn't technically confessed yet. Hold the phone, what had Yuichi said? ' Koki said that if I was finally going to confess to you'. . .

“Yuichi?”

“Hm?” 

“What did you mean, 'finally going to confess' to me?”

“Ahh, about that. I, uh-” 

Yuichi hesitated and Jun was glad he wasn't looking directly at his face, the hollow if his neck seemed a much safer place to be looking when he filled the awkward silence with, “I love you, Yuichi.”

“Since when?”

Jun pulled away to sit up in bed, “What kind of question is that?”

“I just mean, for how long?”

Jun turned to looked down at the sheet bunched in his hands, “Since last year, since Ohno's wedding.”

“We are such morons.”

“I don't disagree, but why?”

“We could have been together this whole time.”

“Oh?”

“I knew I loved you when you gave me your apartment key and I wished we were moving in together.”

“ _Oh._ ”

“Are you sleepy?” Yuichi asked with a touch of hope.

“Not really, no.”

Yuichi sat up and leaned up against Jun's back, caressing his side and whispering low, breath coasting over the little hair on the back of Jun's neck, “Maybe we could make up for lost time, then?”

“You don't have to do that. I'm still seduced from before.” Jun turned to grin at him and push him back into the pillows, moving to straddle his legs.

“Maybe I don't have to, but _god, I want to._ Let me just touch you, Jun.” Yuichi leaned up, sliding his warm hands up Jun's back, slightly chilled from being exposed to the open air in his cool room, igniting Jun's skin everywhere his fingers touched.

Jun's back arched involuntarily and Yuichi sat up to press generous lips against Jun's pulse, mouthing at his neck, teeth grazing his earlobe. 

A fire, once built, can be stoked into a roaring blaze with very little effort, even if it's been left alone for a while as long as there are still amber coals. Jun felt as though he'd been tending a belly full of coals for the past year and only the slightest breath from Yuichi had him burning furnace-hot.

Jun shivered and whined. “I don't have the patience for this, Yuichi.” He palmed Yuichi's erection, hot through the fine cotton of his boxers, and earned a low groan. Long arms wrapped around his back, cradling his shoulders and turned him to lower him down to the mattress.

“I've been waiting too. Just. . .just let me touch you.”

With Yuichi's breath against his cheek, his nearly nude body above Jun's own, and a heat in his eyes to match the one in the pit of Jun's stomach, he was not in a position to deny Yuichi anything. He merely nodded.

Yuichi wasted no time in attempting to devour every exposed inch of Jun's flesh. He pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses to Jun's pulse points, his neck, the sensitive spot on the side of his ribs. He rested his forehead against Jun's chest, just listening to his heartbeat for a minute before sliding his fingers into Jun's worn pajama pants and slowly pulling them down and discarding them as he trailed kisses down Jun's belly. 

The muscles of his stomach were quivering when Yuichi dipped his tongue into his navel, simultaneously letting his fingers trace tiny caresses down the backs of Jun's thighs and then back up the tender skin of his inner thighs, carefully avoiding his straining cock.

He tortured Jun with white hot traces of his tongue against the crease between his thigh and hip, one hand reaching up to grip hard against Jun's ribs, the fingers of the other digging with warm pressure into the flesh of his leg while Jun's hands were fisted tightly into the sheets, threatening to tear them from the corners of the mattress. 

He sucked gently at that delicate skin, bringing up a bloom of pink just under the surface and eliciting choked sobs of _Yuichi, please, oh god_.

Yuichi's lips left his skin sizzling. Jun felt like he was being branded.

He nearly whimpered with relief when Yuichi finally pressed a sweet, tentative kiss to the juncture under the head of his cock but any breath for that was stolen away by his gasp at a slick finger pressing into his entrance.

He'd not placed nearly enough stock in Yuichi's ability to be smooth. He'd never even noticed him grabbing the lube, he'd been so involved in the feeling of Yuichi's mouth on him and now that he was being swallowed down by Yuichi's expert mouth combined with the searing heat of Yuichi's long fingers penetrating, stretching, playing him like some kind of instrument turned trembling flesh, he could do nothing but moan and try to remember to breathe while his body thrummed with pleasure and fire licked wildly through his veins.

Wildfires cannot be contained and Jun would apologize later for robbing Yuichi of his time to 'just touch'. If he had wanted to tame this fire, he ought not to have built it so high. Jun didn't think he could be blamed if it got out of hand. 

He pulled Yuichi off of himself, sitting up and continuing forward, knocking Yuichi back onto the bed and climbing into his lap. Jun grabbed Yuichi's lube-slick hand and wrapped it around Yuichi's own cock all the while licking his way into Yuichi's mouth, tasting himself there and that spicy sweetness from earlier; it was a heady combination.

Jun tore his mouth away with difficulty, turning to look for the condom; tearing it open with his teeth and one hand and batting Yuichi's hand away with the other. He sheathed Yuichi and slathered on more lube, pulling him in for one last kiss before shoving him back; his head was nearly off the bottom of the bed.

Reaching back to guide Yuichi's slick, black latex-clad cock into himself, Jun sank onto it in one swift, greedy motion, shocking himself with the wanton noise his own action tore from his own throat and thrilling himself with the one it tore from Yuichi's.

With Yuichi's hands on his hips to steady him, he set a frantic pace, fueled by the desperation that only freezing for a year while staring into the face of the only flame that can warm you will bring. His thighs were shaking and burning with the effort when Yuichi pressed him gently back and thrust particularly hard to hit the spot that set every bit of his skin scorching, every nerve alight, and each one screaming for release.

He didn't stop. Jun had to lean back, hands on Yuichi's thighs to maintain the angle while he pounded against that spot again and again. When he finally pulled one hand off of Jun's hip to fist his throbbing arousal, Jun couldn't keep himself from crying out, spilling hot over Yuichi's deft fingers, and crumbling into brittle, shimmering embers.

Yuichi slowed. “Jun?”

“Don't stop,” he barely managed to breathe.

He continued to push into the stifling heat of Jun's body, sending tiny sparks of pleasure through Jun's veins in the afterburn.

Yuichi came with a smoky whisper of prayers to some unknown deity and murmuring his name. Jun couldn't recall loving any sound so much as Yuichi's voice in that moment.

Jun couldn't remember clearly what happened after that. He recalled vague impressions of tender kisses on tingling lips and being held very tightly against Yuichi's chest as though he were something very precious. Then only the utter blackness of a sleep much deeper than he'd experienced in a long time.

Jun woke to Yuichi's hands on his body and Yuichi's voice in his ear floating between kisses down his neck and across his collarbones.

“Jun, wake up, I have to go to work.”

But Jun never made it out of the haze of sleep before he was overtaken by the haze of lust only this time, rather than a flash fire, it was more of a slow burn. Yuichi stoked his fires expertly, ripples of heat washing over him in waves until finally they crested and broke with a crash of release and murmured promises.

When he came back to himself, Yuichi was chuckling softly and pulling away. “I can't be late on my first day. Let go of me, Jun.”

Jun let him slip away and into the shower and only vaguely aware of a crisp-smelling, freshly showered Yuichi kissing him goodbye with a promise to call later and slipping out the door.

The snick of the door lock sliding into place sounded suspiciously like the popping of the misty bubble of comfort in which Yuichi had left him. Alone in the bed, it felt a lot colder. Jun didn't think he'd be able to fall back to sleep so he got up and showered.

Halfway through his first cup of coffee, Jun thought he knew the perfect revenge on Ryo for the several hours of awkward mocking to which Jun had been subjected the previous Friday.

Ryo answered the phone on the twenty-fifth ring with all the vitriol his small body contained.

“Jun, it is four thirty in the fucking morning, so help me, someone better be dead or I promise, you will be.”

“Nakamaru just left for work.”

“Whoop-dee-freaking-d- wait, . . . from your place?”

“Yeah.”

“You hate having people stay over. He must have really loosened you up.”

“ _Twice_.”

“ _Dude_.” Ryo admonished, “I don't need those kinds of details. Anyhow, I'm happy for you. Maybe you'll be a little less bitchy with regular sex.”

“You're just jealous because you're clinically incapable of hitting on anyone without acting like an eight-year-old.”

“. . .or maybe not. I'm hanging up now, Jun.”

“Goodnight~”

**~ Present Day ~**

It was embarrassing that after so many years together, the memory of sex with Yuichi could still get him hot so when he answered the door to Nino with Akiko and the kids in tow, his face was still a little flushed.

Nino raised a sardonic brow. “Are we interrupting something? Your special 'Jun Time', maybe?”

“Oh shut up. I'm glad you're here, hey kids,” he patted their heads as they toed their shoes off and scampered into the livingroom. “I was just piping the puffs.”

“Not helping your case, MatsuJun” Nino sniggered and was promptly smacked over the head by Akiko.

Between the three of them, they soon had everything set up by the time guests started arriving. Koki kept Jun stealthily apprised of their ETA and when Maru walked into a roomful of his closest friends shouting “Surprise”, he genuinely looked the part.

“I can't believe you did all of this.” Yuichi smiled at Jun with all the fondness one grin could contain.

“I didn't do all of this. Massu did invitations, Koki booked the DJ, Akiko did most of the decorations, Ueda actually suggested the caterer. . .” he trailed off as he saw Yuichi's face scanning the room with a smile a kilometer wide, “What?”

“I have the best friends.”

Jun smiled back at him.

“But,” he added, “don't think for one second that I don't know you had a hand in everything here.”

Jun only blushed and shrugged. He didn't really like having _moments_ in public.

“I know. I love you too.” Yuichi's eyes sparkled. 

Traditionally, the only people who have no time to themselves at a party are the host and the guest of honor and this one was no different so Jun shared almost no other time with him for the rest of the evening. They smiled at each other across the room while they chatted up their friends. Jun served drinks and directed catering staff while Yuichi accepted gifts and congratulations. 

When finally everyone had gone and they went back to their own apartment, they were both exhausted. They climbed wearily into bed and Jun snuggled right up to his favorite sleeping place, right against Yuichi's shoulder with an arm flung over his chest.

“So,” he murmured into Yuichi's cotton knit-clad shoulder, “good birthday?”

“Yes, actually. Busy, though. How was _your_ day?”

“I made hors d'oeuvres.”

“Good then?”

“Yeah, not bad. Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Hm?”

“You like my salmon puffs, right?”

“Yeah, no, they were good.”

“What do you mean ' _yeah, no_ they were good'?”

“They're. . .”

“They're what?” Jun leaned up on his elbow to look down at his lover and raised one quizzical brow.

“I don't know. They're salmon puffs. What do I know? They're fine.”

“You don't like them.”

“Well. . .no, but hey, I have some important news for you.”

“What?”

“I am not, surprisingly enough, with you for your stupid puffs.”

“Bah.” Jun chuffed him over the head with a pillow. “Why are you with me then?”

“Because you are _fabulous_.” Yuichi intoned with all the flair he could muster.

“I _am_ one hot piece of ass.” Jun agreed playfully.

“Yeah, why don't you bring that ass over here and show me why _you're_ with _me_.”

He didn't have to ask twice.  



End file.
